I was losing my sight as a thousand voices of angry men echoed around me, their fists and hard objects descending upon my bleeding body. At this point, I was more dead than alive. My mother ran into this woeful scene, tears flooding her eyes like a river. She forced her way through the crowd to where I lay, dust soaked in my blood. The last time I saw her cry like this was ten years ago when my loving father passed away, a victim of our poor financial status that couldn’t cover his hospital bills.

We watched in helpless agony as he coughed out his last breath on the hospital bed, abandoned by doctors who refused to treat him without payment. I looked at my mother with thoughts of regret, wishing to apologise, but a helpless boy had no strength, only able to pant heavily as my body became a dwelling place for pain, where everyone was given free rein to cast their fury upon me.

My mother rummaged through my blood, weeping bitterly because she never believed her only child would end up like this. She couldn’t believe the half-dead boy on the floor was the same child she carried for nine months, birthed into the world, and raised with morals.

I too couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I was once a good and God-fearing child, trusted by everyone in the neighbourhood, until life turned against me, transforming from a gentle butterfly into a buzzing, aggressive bee.

Terdoo is who I am known as, except for my mother, who calls me Yua, which means gift. I was the social prefect during my senior secondary school days, and I was really loved by my teachers due to my honesty, hard work, and excellence in academic performances. Not only was I loved by teachers, but also by my mates and juniors. On Mondays and Fridays, assemblies were conducted in my school, and it was compulsory for every student to attend. However, a group of arrogant students in my class, namely Apochi, Nater, and Ogahi, were always escaping assemblies. It was a habit for them, and once it was time for the assembly, those three would quietly sneak upstairs with their school bags to the last floor, which consisted of abandoned classrooms.

On a faithful day, I decided to find out what they had always been doing upstairs, and I also wanted to taste the feeling of not staying for the assembly at least once. So, I followed them upstairs while the assembly was going on. As the social prefect of the school, my presence was essential at such gatherings, so I earlier asked my assistant to cover for me, and she accepted without questioning me.

I and the boys walked into one of the empty rooms upstairs. My school was a public school; therefore, it was very old, with many abandoned rooms, and the state government never came for renovation. So, lazy students were often caught in these empty classes after running away from lessons, especially for subjects like mathematics and English.

Most students hated our mathematics teacher because he was the kind of person who didn’t allow misbehaviour from students, and he was very good at teaching for so long, even after his period had expired. And as for the English teacher, students complained she was boring, ugly, and only had a few pairs of clothes and old-looking cover shoes.

And when we entered the classroom, I saw Amaka, an SSS2 student. “What is this one doing here? She is supposed to be at the assembly.” I spoke within myself. But to my surprise, Apochi walked straight to her and gave her a hug. Nater did the same thing, as well as Ogahi, who even spanked her buttocks.

I was very shocked, finding out what those three had been doing here. “Senior, good morning.” Amaka greeted me, but I pretended not to have heard her. I simply walked and sat at the dilapidated window, which was right in front of me.

Apochi then brought out a phone from his bag. Nater, on the other side, was trying to unzip his own bag, while Ogahi was having a private conversation with Amaka. I was the only idle person among them.

Suddenly, I heard a sharp and rough sound behind me, and when I turned, I saw a lizard running into a hole in the wall. I felt so ashamed, schooling in such an environment where we had to share the buildings with reptiles. At a point, I started feeling bored; it was my first time getting involved in this kind of act, and I was also scared of getting caught.

I sat silent, without paying attention to what they were doing, so Apochi decided to cheer me up with music from his phone, and that even made me more uncomfortable because phones were not allowed in school.

I therefore looked in his direction with the intention of complaining to him to stop the music, but what my eyes saw was way worse than the music. Nater was breathing out smoke from his mouth and nostrils with a roll of marijuana held in his left hand, while Ogahi was deeply romancing Amaka.

“E shock u?” Nater asked me in pidgin, meaning, “Are you surprised?” He was walking towards me with red eyes, and I wanted to take my leave immediately, but they all persuaded me to stay. Amaka then walked to me and started twerking, inviting me to join her, but I declined, so the boys started mocking me by calling me a small boy. They mocked me until I decided to dance with her, but I really did not enjoy doing so.

I was later given a cigarette by Ogahi. “No! Guy, I don’t want,” I rejected. “Ok, try this one. You will like it,” said Apochi, who offered a bottle of soft drink that had been mixed with a hard substance, and I still refused to take it. “O! Boy, take and taste it, even if it’s just a drop of it. Ahh! Why are you behaving like a primary school child?” said Nater, and Ogahi replied, saying, “Even primary school children will take it without hesitation; don’t mind Terdoo, who likes acting like one holy boy.” Later on, Apochi encouraged me to take the drink, and I noticed Amaka stylishly laughing at me, so I collected the bottle and took just a sip of it. And immediately, Mr. Wole walked into the room and caught us in the act.

I couldn’t defend myself, caught in the midst of smokers, holding a bottle containing hard drugs with a lady amidst three boys. We all got expelled from school. I became a dropout because my poor mother couldn’t afford to send me to another school. She was highly disappointed, expecting better from me. She believed I would become the great man who would replace her tears with smiles. But I failed her, stabbing her dreams to death!

Deep down, I promised not to let her down despite the ill fate. With our SSCE registration closing in one month, I worked hard to earn money for the registration. Although some teachers were willing to help, my bad attitude stopped them. I was a big slap in their faces, and they gave up on me. I needed 40,000 Naira for registration, but after tirelessly working at the market, helping people offload goods from vans, I only raised 10,000 Naira. With one week left, I became frustrated. I needed to register for the examination and pass with flying colours to clear the mud I had painted on myself in the eyes of society.

One evening, as I closed from the market, returning home with the 500 Naira I made for the day, I saw a fat woman counting a huge bundle of Naira notes, which she had just withdrawn from a nearby bank. I watched her vividly as she counted the money and squeezed it into her handbag. I felt like approaching her and telling her my needs, but I knew no one would even offer listening ears to my long, sad story. So, I decided to take it the hard way by snatching the bag from her. But, truly, it was a big mistake. As I attempted to zoom off, I stumbled into a gutter, and before I could lift myself out, I was already surrounded by a crowd of men yelling, “Thief! Thief! Thief!”

Their shouts drew the attention of other people, who quickly abandoned whatever they were doing and rushed to cast pain on me. Others gathered only to watch and record the incident on their mobile devices. I could hear the negative comments they kept throwing against me, and soon I could no longer hear them. I could only hear the sobbing tune of my mother; her wet visage began to fade off my sight. I could hardly hear or see anything other than colours. Even my body became immune to pain, though the crowd kept striking me hard and harder.

Behold! After several days of unconsciousness, when I finally regained consciousness, I was met with the devastating news that my mother had become a lifeless body, preserved in the mortuary, awaiting burial. She had lost her breath after witnessing the wrath of men unleashed upon the body of a thief she once called her son. “You caused her death, you wayward boy, criminal!” my neighbours spat at me. And from that day on, everyone hated my name. I was rejected by my extended family and denied the privilege of attending my mother’s burial, disowned, and sent away to wander far and wide until death claimed me.

Now, I have become a barren island in the face of the world, counting stars in the skies every single night and wishing to trace my steps back home to shed tears on my mother’s grave, to tell her spirit, “I am sorry.” I long to write my story as an epitaph on the stone that shelters her rotten body. Then, I too shall bury my worthless self right beside her as penance for my sins.